Polygamy

“How are you?” “What are you called?” “Are you married?” “How many kids do you have?” “How many wives do you have?” “Does your husband have another wife?” … All of these questions are typical upon meeting someone and getting to know them. It took me a little while not to feel like I was offending someone when asking them about their marital status as if it was similar to an affair but really it’s a part of life here. The only person not used to it in Karungu is myself. 

Currently we have a man in the "last ward" who was married to nearly 100 women! His nickname was "Danger" and I can understand why. Having this many wives is uncommon, most men have one or two and maybe three if they can afford it. Danger's family was able to open two schools and a church just for themselves- he kind of had a mini village. He divorced 30 of his wives at one point, which makes me wonder how he chose which women to divorce? 

Questions that I am asked include where I am from, what I am doing here, if I have kids, and if I am married. “What!  No kids? You’re not married?” Most people can’t believe I’m 22 years old with no kids, let alone not married. Father Julius often points this out and adds that I have a college education, am volunteering my time, and staying in Kenya for one full year. The first time I was wondering where he was going with this but then it made sense. Use me as an example. Fine by me: maybe I will start to see fewer girls under the age (way under the age) of 20 in the maternity ward.

There have been plenty of times that my answer to whether I am married has been “Yup, I’m happily married.” It’s easier than refusing a marriage proposal, explaining that where I come from everyone is married to just one person, and that my dad doesn’t need the cows, donkeys, and chickens that would be offered to him as a dowry. I’m not even quite sure how many cows, donkeys, and chickens I am worth. 

Emily